Two weeks holiday, too much food, not enough training! That sentence sums up my past few weeks and explains why the clothes are a little tighter and the training tougher, and forms the catalyst for this blog.
The holiday coincided with a period of self consciousness about body size/shape. Being 4’11” (and a half on a good day) I’ve grown up with plenty of comments about my height and largely shrugged them off. Weight has never really concerned me, but noticing the weight creeping up has recently smacked me in the face. It’s not helped by the fact I have a large uterine fibroid which gives a pregnant lady look to my abdominal region even without excess weight. For some reason my mentality has been one of excuses (as the last sentence shows) and comfort eating, a U-turn from my usual fighting attitude. The more the scales went up so too did my excuses. This has to stop and responsibility must begin with me.
Will my diet become completely clean? No, I honestly don’t think that would work for me. It’s getting cleaner and I’m learning to resist temptations a little more often. There are still times I get annoyed by a drop in self control or lack of planning resulting in poor food choices but again I need to learn these are lessons to learn and not road blocks. Now normally I’m a geek for numbers, but the problem with this is that KCals and Kgs can become addictive, for that reason these will not be my focus; it’s time to focus on look and feel. It’s time to being more positive about the journey I’m on, not the journey someone else has chosen.
I’ve not really written about body shape/size in this blog and I’ve put a lot of thought into whether these thoughts are what I want to share. Ultimately though I want this blog to be honest, both for anyone that reads it and for me to look back on. I’m sure there are others out there in the same boat as me, thinking and feeling the same. I’m not interested in miracle powders and pills, my journey will be of real food, real effort and probable real tantrums too.